I am renowned for being the biggest salad dodger anyone has ever met. If I order a cheeseburger at McDonald’s without onion and gherkins and then discover onion and gherkins in my cheeseburger, I will not just scrape them off and complain about incompetent staff. I will go back to the cashier and demand that they make me another cheeseburger without onions and gherkins, and will wait the full five minutes extra it takes them to make me a fresh cheeseburger.
However! An easy way to actually eat fruit and vegetables is to put them in cakes. These little guys are what I like to call blueberry dream cupcakes.
140g self raising flour, sifted
280g caster sugar
2 free range eggs
100ml semi skimmed milk
200g blueberries, halved. I would advise getting these from a local greengrocer. Supermarkets charge an obscene price for fruit. Set aside twelve blueberries for decoration.
A pinch of salt
For the frosting:
400g icing sugar
120g full fat cream cheese
Start by preheating your oven to 180ºc and putting muffin cases in each hole of your twelve hole muffin tray. I get my muffin cases from John Lewis because a) I love the colours they do and b) I like to pretend I’m an upper class housewife.
Using an electric whisk or a freestanding mixer, combine the butter, flour, salt and sugar together until it resembles breadcrumbs. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs and milk together until it’s bubbly and airy. Getting air into your cakes is super important because otherwise they will look like roman discuses. Add the liquid to your dry ingredients 1/3 at a time and mix until there are no lumps and the mixture is thick and creamy. Add the blueberries and mix once more for good measure.
If you have neither an electric whisk nor a freestanding mixer, do not worry. I am not judging you. The only reason I have a freestanding mixer is because I got it for my twenty-first birthday. This should give you a highly accurate insight into my life. Most girls get a pair of Jimmy Choos or a car or a holiday for their twenty-first birthday. I got a cake mixer and I was so happy I cried.
Using your wooden spoon, cream the butter and sugar together. In a separate bowl, whisk together the milk and the eggs then combine with the butter and sugar. Gently fold in the flour and salt, then add the blueberries.
Divide the mixture between the muffin cases and bake in the centre of your preheated oven for twenty five minutes.
Whilst your cupcakes are cooling, beat the icing sugar into the butter until it looks like breadcrumbs. Add the cream cheese and beat for a further four minutes. Using a small pallette knife, spread a generous amount of frosting onto the cupcakes. If you don’t have a pallette knife, use the back of a teaspoon. I favoured the teaspoon method of frosting cupcakes for two years.
Pop a blueberry on each cupcake and voilà! Twelve of your five a day.